RDHygenius

I read “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing” the summer before second grade. I’ve always been ahead of my time. This was how I learned that either Santa wasn’t real or Judy Blume was fooling generations of children. I didn’t want to believe either thing, but in the end, it was easier to swallow the Santa-shaped pill. I confronted my parents. “Is Santa real?” My mother didn’t say a word, only looked at my father, whose face showed signs of both heartbreak and resolve. He had known this would be coming; he just wasn’t prepared for the conversation in the middle of June. “Why do you ask, Panders?” “I’m reading a book, and there’s a part about how Santa isn’t real.” “What the hell kind of books are you letting her read?” He is addressing my mother. “It’s Judy Blume, Daddy!” He is unmoved by my proclamation. Daddy was probably too busy reading “Animal Farm” at my age to know anything about Judy Blume. “You taught her to read early, and now she reads above her grade level.” My mother gives him t...

In September, I read a position statement from the ADA regarding the discontinuation of lead apron use. I scanned the article, thought it far-fetched, and went on my way. A couple weeks later, I was preparing to take X-rays on my patient, a radiology tech. As I reached for the lead apron, she stopped me, saying, “I don’t want it.” I turned back towards her, only mildly confused. She continued, “I’m an X-ray tech, and we no longer use lead aprons because they cause more harm than good.” Remembering the statement from the ADA, I replied enthusiastically that I was just learning how lead aprons might be a thing of the past. She told me that at least two hospital systems in our area had completely done away with lead aprons - even for pregnant women. While walking the dogs with my husband that night, I asked if he could find out if they were still using them at the hospital where he works. His response was flippant: “Won’t the answer obviously be ‘yes?’” I rolled my eyes as I told him that...